Dear Angelo,

Eight months ago my dream man jumped into my life. Three weeks later, I was snooping and found that he was cheating - the end of my dream. I want to confront him, but I'm afraid I'll end up out on the streets if I do. He supports me. I've never written to anyone about my problems before, but honestly, I don't know what to do.

Signed, Stray Cat

Dear Stray Cat,

It sounds like both of you are being dishonest with each other. You're snooping. He's cheating. However, starting today, you can choose to build a healthier relationship if you put it all on the table.

A healthy relationship is based on trust. A couple can't thrive in a relational environment of mistrust and suspicion. I'm glad you trusted me to write, but I want you to turn toward your partner and build a bridge of trust. Try talking to him openly and honestly about what you discovered. While he has a right to be upset with you for snooping, you have a right to confront him about his cheating. While it doesn't excuse your snooping, relatively speaking, his behind the scenes activity is more egregious than yours.

But before you have the conversation, it might be worthwhile to decide what kind of relationship you want. Is it quid pro quo? Is there love involved? Something in between? If you don't know, ask youself, "if my fear (money) wasn't a concern, what would I do about the situation?" Don't lose your dignity. Trust yourself. Share your thoughts and feelings with him.