Dear Angelo,

Why are gay men so mean to each other a lot of the time, especially the hot ones?

Signed, Axe Attitude

Dear Axe Attitude,

A client of mine had it right when he said, "I wasn't born a bitch. I became one." He captures, in a nut shell, the fact that gay men endure much hardship, including prejudice, rejection and discrimination, that can harden them. We can develop many emotionally protective psychological defenses and compensations that can unfortunately drive phony, superficial and unfriendly behavior. The best looking guys can be the worst offenders.

It's scary to open up, be vulnerable and risk more hurt, so some people stay emotionally closed in fear.

Don't do that. In spite of any negativity you receive out there, continue to be friendly to other gay men. Like attracts like and you will soon stumble upon some good witches instead of the bad ones. We have to stop flying around on our BMW brooms in slimming black (Dolce & Gabbana of course), and find one another's heart space. It saddens me that I get so many letters from gay men about loneliness and yet we have so much attitude with one another. Attitude is a waste of energy. It takes far less energy and it's far more rewarding to be kind to our brothers. After all, we are all connected.

Quote: The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return (from songwriter Eden Ahbez's "Nature Boy").

So change your 'tude dudes.

All The Best, Angelo.