Dear Angelo,

I give everything to the man I love. I always put him first even before myself. I drive 2 hours to see him. Twice I told him I loved him and that's when everything fell apart. I just don't kow what I did wrong. After that he said he wanted to date other people. I still buy him stuff spending thousands of dollars on him. He calls me and texts me when he's lonely on his business trips. But he never just says he misses me or makes an effort to see me. It's so hard. I've turned to drinking, drugs and anti-depressants to be happy so I don't dwell on it. What can I do to save myself?

Signed, Falling Apart

Dear Falling Apart,

I'm sorry you have to go through this.  Unfortunately, you can't make someone love you. Love must be given freely to be a love that's true.

The best thing for you to do is reality test. See the situation clearly as it is.  Much suffering comes from resisting what is.  This guy's a taker and not a giver.  Save your money.  Stop trying to "buy" his affection.  He doesn't have the same feelings for you that you have for him.  Realize that when he contacts you, it's all about him.  He contacts you because he's lonely.  His calling or texting has nothing to do with you.  You have to recognize you're being used and let this one go.

It's time to put yourself first.  Lay off the alcohol and drugs.  They may give you a reprieve, but make things worse overall.  Instead, face the truth and feel your feelings. Get support.  I know it hurts deeply, but avoiding is far more dangerous than grieving.

All The Best, Angelo.